Ten words and phrases to avoid in feedback (and what to say instead)

Aug 08, 2024

Senior Content Marketing Manager

Hey there, fearless feedback givers! 😎 We all know that giving feedback is an art—one that can either build bridges or, let’s be real, blow them up. The words and phrases we choose matter more than we might think. Sometimes, what seems like harmless feedback can actually do more harm than good, leaving your team confused, deflated, or even defensive. So, if you’ve ever found yourself wondering why your well-intentioned comments didn’t quite land, it might be time to rethink your approach. Let’s dive into the ten words and phrases to avoid when giving feedback, and what to say instead to keep things constructive, clear, and empowering. Because, at the end of the day, we’re all here to help each other grow.

1. Avoid: "But"

Say Instead: "And"
Why: "But" can feel like a negation. "And" keeps things positive and connected.
Example: "You've done great work on this project, and it could be even better if we..."

2. Avoid: "Always"
Say Instead: "Often"
Why: "Always" is rarely true and can sound accusatory. "Often" is more accurate and less extreme.
Example: "You often provide valuable insights during meetings."

3. Avoid: "Never"

Say Instead: "Sometimes"
Why: "Never" feels absolute and can be discouraging. "Sometimes" leaves room for improvement.
Example: "Sometimes, your reports could use more detailed data."

4. Avoid: "Weakness"

Say Instead: "Area for Improvement"
Why: "Weakness" sounds harsh and negative. "Area for improvement" is more constructive.
Example: "An area for improvement is your time management."

5. Avoid: "Problem"

Say Instead: "Challenge"
Why: "Problem" feels negative and daunting. "Challenge" is more motivational.
Example: "One challenge we've noticed is meeting deadlines."

6. Avoid: "Mistake"

Say Instead: "Learning opportunity"
Why: "Mistake" sounds final and discouraging. "Learning opportunity" is positive and growth-focused.
Example: "This was a learning opportunity to improve our process."

7. Avoid: "Inadequate"

Say Instead: "Needs development"
Why: "Inadequate" is harsh and demoralizing. "Needs development" is more encouraging.
Example: "Your presentation skills need some development."

8. Avoid: "Disappointed"

Say Instead: "Could improve"
Why: "Disappointed" feels personal and harsh. "Could improve" is more about the action.
Example: "You could improve on your follow-up with clients."

9. Avoid: "Failed"

Say Instead: "Didn't meet expectations"
Why: "Failed" sounds final and harsh. "Didn't meet expectations" is more neutral.
Example: "The project didn't meet expectations in terms of scope."

10. Avoid: "Weak"

Say Instead: "Could be stronger"
Why: "Weak" is demoralizing. "Could be stronger" is constructive.
Example: "Your argument could be stronger with more data.”

And there you have it—your roadmap to giving feedback that actually sticks (in a good way!). 🚀 Feedback is a powerful tool, but only when it’s delivered with intention and care. The next time you’re preparing to give some constructive criticism, remember these simple swaps to avoid common pitfalls and keep the conversation productive. With these tips in your back pocket, you’ll be able to help your team grow without the awkwardness or defensiveness that poorly chosen words can bring.

So go ahead, give feedback like a pro, and watch your team—and your relationships with them—flourish. After all, feedback isn’t just about pointing out what’s wrong; it’s about building a stronger, more capable team together. Now, let’s get out there and give some feedback that makes an impact! 🎤💥